Static

Techniques

October 1, 2008 by  
Filed under Static

“War’s a brain splattering, windpipe-slitting art.” – Lord Byron

CAUTION!

The methods and techniques described herein are meant solely for human v. zombie combat. Under no circumstances should they be used or attempted against other human beings.

Such action would not only be illegal and immoral, but ineffective, as these techniques take advantage of traits, behaviors, and vulnerabilities exhibited only by the living dead.

Our analysis of techniques covers the following areas:

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September 29, 2008 by  
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Anatomy

September 24, 2008 by  
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“If you know both yourself and your enemy, you can come out of hundreds of battles without danger.” – Sun Tzu, The Art of War

In order to effectively defeat a zombie in combat, you first need to have a complete understanding of all the potential attack methods, assets and vulnerabilities of the living dead. This includes a thorough review of its strengths and weaknesses, as commonplace as they may seem.

It is precisely the lack of a full understanding that has resulted in many unnecessary deaths, so it is recommended that you fully review this section, regardless of how much you believe you already know about the undead.

Our analysis is segmented into several subcategories:

  • Strengths – The individual ghoul has three primary offensive weapons at its disposal: its mouth and two hands. It also has a number of secondary strengths that provide an advantage in combat and contribute to its lethality
  • Weaknesses – Just as the undead possess certain strengths in combat, they possess equally important weaknesses that we will examine in order to develop effective countermeasures
  • Vulnerabilities – The vulnerabilities of the living dead often mimic those of our own frail skeletal structures. Analyzing them properly will serve you well during an attack

Conditioning

September 23, 2008 by  
Filed under Static

“Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it.” – Plato

Make no mistake; fighting the living dead can be an exhausting endeavor. Regardless of the weapon you wield or the training you’ve acquired, if your body is unable to sustain extended physical exertion, your efforts may be for nothing.

Facing two or three simultaneous attackers armed only with a crowbar can tire even a well-trained athlete. In order to effectively defend yourself and your loved ones, you need to maintain a modicum of physical conditioning. Exceptional athleticism is not required, but a foundation of health needs to be established, particularly during a larger scale outbreaks when attacks may be more frequent, and natural resources slim.

Equally as important as conditioning the body is fortifying the mind. Thus, we will discuss various techniques for training your mental state to face the living dead.

Our discussion of physical conditioning covers the following subjects:

  • Basic Fitness – What base level of fitness will you need during a zombie attack?
  • Exercises – The most beneficial movements to prepare your body for an assault
  • Mental Preparation – Stress inoculation, desensitization, and psychology
  • Combat Simulations – Training as you fight, fighting as you trained

Combat Reports

September 23, 2008 by  
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“…et resedit qui erat mortuus, et coepit esurire.”

“…and he who was dead sat up, and began to hunger” – Origin unknown

The following is a collection of direct accounts and anecdotes from a variety of sources regarding their experiences in hostile engagements with the undead. These accounts are for informational purposes only, and not meant to be construed as additional instruction.

The recordings have taken place during the period known as The Healing Years, approximately four to seven years after the official conclusion of major undead combat operations on each of the seven continents. As of this writing, outbreaks continue to be reported throughout the world, but major commerce has resumed, consumer travel has been officially reauthorized, and safe zones exist throughout parts of North America, Europe, Asia, Antarctica and Africa.

Weapons

September 23, 2008 by  
Filed under Static

“Any tool is a weapon if you hold it right.” – Ani DiFranco

Fighting the undead should be always a weapon-based engagement. The necessity of penetrating the skull cavity and significantly damaging the gray matter almost requires the use of some sort of combat implement.

Finding the ideal weapon to use against the living dead is not a “one size fits all” situation. As you continue to train and develop your fighting skills, you will find yourself more proficient at certain tactics and weapons than others. Your preferences for particular combat ranges and techniques will also become apparent.

Due to the inevitability that you will have to engage in combat at any number of distance ranges that are not your preferred method, and because one weapon will not work in all instances, it is advised that you carry at least one weapon to cover each designated combat range.

Our evaluation of weapons will cover the following subcategories: